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Toxic Positivity and Unsolicited Advice can be Harmful to Trauma Survivors

We've all seen them, those positive memes and quotes that pepper our newsfeeds offering hopeful messages and inspiration. But are they really helpful? For most people, they aren't. This is especially true for trauma survivors. People can mean well when they post these positive affirmations, but toxic positivity can really negatively affect people with mental … Continue reading Toxic Positivity and Unsolicited Advice can be Harmful to Trauma Survivors

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How to help someone fighting addiction and also protect yourself

There's a famous study about rats and heroin that shows why decriminalization and mental health intervention is the way to treat addiction. To summarize, they gave lonely rats the option of food or heroin if they hit a lever, and guess what they usually picked? Yep, heroin. Like humans, many animals need social connection. If … Continue reading How to help someone fighting addiction and also protect yourself

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Trauma and Addiction: A Futile Attempt to Escape the Pain

It's been six months since I drank alcohol. I never really thought I had a problem with it, until it almost killed me. My alcohol abuse wasn't as obvious as some people's. In clinical terms, I never got to the dependency stage. I wasn't the obvious alcoholic who is always drinking. I didn't need medication … Continue reading Trauma and Addiction: A Futile Attempt to Escape the Pain

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Medical appointments and hospitals are difficult for people with DID and PTSD

I'm sitting in the ER again today. I guess I'm grateful it's not for mental health reasons, but I've had serious physical health issues lately. Obviously this makes my usual anxiety much worse. I've always been afraid of the doctor's, ever since I was a kid. It was weird and unfair that my little sister … Continue reading Medical appointments and hospitals are difficult for people with DID and PTSD

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We’re Not Broken

It's like banging my head against a wall and expecting it not to hurt. It's like walking on the highway and hoping I don't get hit. I don't deserve this shit. People who grow up being abused seem to end up on similar paths as adults. They either look for someone to abuse them, they … Continue reading We’re Not Broken

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Severed Ties: The Grief of Losing My Abusive Parents on the Path to Healing

The reason DID exists is so that someone can continue to live a relatively normal life in extremely difficult circumstances. I was depressed and anxious all my life, but I had parts that did well in school, made friends and dated, and played sports. For most of my childhood, until my depression worsened as a … Continue reading Severed Ties: The Grief of Losing My Abusive Parents on the Path to Healing

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A Fire-Eater, Hypnosis, and a Gun

I don't even know how to start this post. I've been afraid for a week to write it down, especially in a blog for anyone to read. Although to be honest, I'm realizing that I've been afraid to tell this story since I was a little girl. I'll probably post it privately first, so if … Continue reading A Fire-Eater, Hypnosis, and a Gun

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Sitting With the Pain

This is a concept I've heard many times in therapy, but I only partially understood it. The therapist I had in my 20s (the one who lost her license for unethical boundary violations), tried to help me understand this. But she didn't explain it in a way that clicked for me. It was only recently … Continue reading Sitting With the Pain

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Trauma and Boundaries

My therapist sometimes jokes that I'm like a cat because I hate when people show me attention. I'm shy, but there is more to it than that. When I was a kid, my father and his friends raped me and passed me around to other disgusting men. I learned that I was an object and … Continue reading Trauma and Boundaries

Melodies (We are free)

She stepped into the spotlightSolo figureShadows meltingSun dripping inI see them allVoices chatteringLaughter and painHappiness evolves andHolds the day Stories that bind usInterwoven web of raindropsDancing between the beatsReaching out and believingScattering the seasWe tumble in the wavesTime, like most, unforgivingRestless seconds runNight time falls heavyLike stones on my chestWitch trials and hypocrisyAntique fear flows … Continue reading Melodies (We are free)

Compassion and Healing Trauma

We all have bad days, regardless of what we've been through in life. Last night was rough for me. A random picture on the internet that was supposed to be funny ended up triggering me a great deal. It was a meme with a picture of a medieval torture method. This set off the parts … Continue reading Compassion and Healing Trauma

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Being Vulnerable Enought to Fight Stigma

I have a rare mental illness that is extremely misunderstood. It makes me feel isolated and alone, so I'm hoping maybe some people will read this and learn something. I have a dissociative disorder caused by chronic childhood abuse. When I say "dissociative disorder," people usually don't know what I mean, and I'm scared to … Continue reading Being Vulnerable Enought to Fight Stigma