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How to help someone fighting addiction and also protect yourself

There's a famous study about rats and heroin that shows why decriminalization and mental health intervention is the way to treat addiction. To summarize, they gave lonely rats the option of food or heroin if they hit a lever, and guess what they usually picked? Yep, heroin. Like humans, many animals need social connection. If … Continue reading How to help someone fighting addiction and also protect yourself

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Trauma and Addiction: A Futile Attempt to Escape the Pain

It's been six months since I drank alcohol. I never really thought I had a problem with it, until it almost killed me. My alcohol abuse wasn't as obvious as some people's. In clinical terms, I never got to the dependency stage. I wasn't the obvious alcoholic who is always drinking. I didn't need medication … Continue reading Trauma and Addiction: A Futile Attempt to Escape the Pain

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We’re Not Broken

It's like banging my head against a wall and expecting it not to hurt. It's like walking on the highway and hoping I don't get hit. I don't deserve this shit. People who grow up being abused seem to end up on similar paths as adults. They either look for someone to abuse them, they … Continue reading We’re Not Broken

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Grief and DID: Staying in my Window of Tolerance

I lost a really close friend on March 17, 2020. I've lost a lot of friends along the way, and their deaths will always hurt a lot. Most died from suicide and drug use. M died at age 50 from a terminal illness. She survived Hodgkin's Lymphoma when she was 17, but the radiation she … Continue reading Grief and DID: Staying in my Window of Tolerance

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Trauma and Boundaries

My therapist sometimes jokes that I'm like a cat because I hate when people show me attention. I'm shy, but there is more to it than that. When I was a kid, my father and his friends raped me and passed me around to other disgusting men. I learned that I was an object and … Continue reading Trauma and Boundaries