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Toxic Positivity and Unsolicited Advice can be Harmful to Trauma Survivors

We've all seen them, those positive memes and quotes that pepper our newsfeeds offering hopeful messages and inspiration. But are they really helpful? For most people, they aren't. This is especially true for trauma survivors. People can mean well when they post these positive affirmations, but toxic positivity can really negatively affect people with mental … Continue reading Toxic Positivity and Unsolicited Advice can be Harmful to Trauma Survivors

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Betrayal

**Trigger warning: this post talks about parental abuse and pregnancy loss** I think the worst betrayal is from my mother. She allowed him to take that baby, even assisted him. How can you be a mother and do that to another mother? How could any human being do that, take someone's child away? She was … Continue reading Betrayal

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Ghosts

Today I feel the pain of lost ones,Life and death, bloody remembranceBelly full and body screamingPausing my sleep with agony It's like she's still a part of me,Phantom firefly, feeling flutters,A faint dance before there was stillnessAnd red streams flowing endlessly A voice replays the words on loop,There's too much blood, a flood of life,Colour … Continue reading Ghosts

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I think about her all the time, my little firefly

**Trigger warning: post talks about pregnancy loss** This is by far the most difficult story for me to tell. This memory, this loss, affected me more than the rape and torture throughout my childhood. It's caused us to almost kill ourselves in the past. I didn't know why my suicide attempts happened in June. It's … Continue reading I think about her all the time, my little firefly

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Voices and Chaos

It's a particularly bad time of year for me. This is what it's like in my mind: Lost ones, the others, quiet nowSometimes they scream and cryOr they yell at each other stop cryingIt whimpers in the darknessBaby, pathetic wretch, weakPull yourself togetherStop feeling sorry for yourselfAre you a man or a mouse?I'm neitherDo you … Continue reading Voices and Chaos

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Grief and DID: Staying in my Window of Tolerance

I lost a really close friend on March 17, 2020. I've lost a lot of friends along the way, and their deaths will always hurt a lot. Most died from suicide and drug use. M died at age 50 from a terminal illness. She survived Hodgkin's Lymphoma when she was 17, but the radiation she … Continue reading Grief and DID: Staying in my Window of Tolerance