I didn’t realize what an unstoppable force I am. Life beats me down, but I learn to fly. People treat me badly, but I still believe in love. People are cruel to me, and I stay kind. People disrespect me, but I show myself respect. Evil tries to kill me, and I fight for every breath. A pandemic tries to kill me, but my lungs heal eventually. People try to control me, use me, take what they want, but I learn to set my boundaries. Flashbacks and seizures haunt me, but I learn to survive the pain. Compounded stress wants to break me, but I’m still a good single mom. I’ve been beaten, punched, hit, shoved, threatened, bitten, spit on, raped, tortured, almost killed countless times, verbally abused, emotionally neglected, humiliated, shamed, and ridiculed, but I’m still here somehow. Most of that happened before I was even an adult. I’ve been in pain my whole life. There are many days where the pain is too much, and I want to give up. There are even more days when I’m exhausted, and I don’t know if I can go on. Life throws everything it can at me, and just when I think it’s getting a little bit better, the ground caves in again. But I always get back up. I’ve spent a lot of my life in pain and alone, and I’ve faced fear like most people can’t even fathom. I’ve stared down death and lived to tell my story. I work every day to find safety and calm within so that I can live a happier life. And I’m learning to manage a very serious mental illness effectively. I didn’t realize the power that I have. Now I do. Sometimes I wish the universe didn’t teach me in such a harsh way, but I understand. I see the symbols everywhere, I’ve been tested since I was born. I still have much to learn, but I’m closer than ever before. I actually believe in myself. I see it all so clearly now. The stinging does not leave, but I still fly.
**Wishing every trauma survivor the comfort and peace that I have found in self love, self compassion, and self respect.**